


Director's Cut - Dad vs. Dad - The Showdown

by Royalsciencenerd



Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Behind the scenes edition, F/M, Fred'jerk'ric gets his ass kicked, Gen, Good dad Quirin, Justice, Rapunzel's plans always involve cookies and/or singing and end badly, Varian is shook though, basically me and my beta giving commentary throughout the story because why not?, but also 'Awesome!', continuation of a long fic but can also be read as a one-shot, sword fighting (but not violently), this is one of them, we love to see it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28224060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royalsciencenerd/pseuds/Royalsciencenerd
Summary: Original: Now that her father has regained his memory, Rapunzel thinks it's time for him and Quirin to talk ('yay cookies and feeling!'). Quirin's not much of talker - not when people have hurt his son.Another Director's Cut because people seemed to like the first and they're fun to do. It's once again a look at the editing process between me and my beta, which consists mostly of cracking jokes, but with a little bit of actual editing.
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel, King Frederic of Corona & Quirin (Disney), Quirin & Varian (Disney), Rapunzel & Varian (Disney)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 19





	Director's Cut - Dad vs. Dad - The Showdown

**Author's Note:**

> I'm assuming everyone who comes here has read the original so I'm not going to repeat all the plot details I did in the original's notes. If you thought we weren't going to do a Director's Cut of a fic where Frederic gets his ass kicked.... *laughs hysterically*
> 
> Since I'm finished with finals and with my research for the semester, I decided to drive to visit my beta since she's on the way to my house and the drive from school to my house is excessively long and exhausting. And before anyone gets mad at us for breaking quarantine - I am a microbiology major and she is a med student and we both take this pandemic VERY seriously. All my finals were online, and so were hers so we both hadn't seen anyone for 2 weeks before seeing each other. Anyways, the point is, this Director's Cut is a rare treat because she was actually sitting right beside me as I read this to her, so these comments are from us being in person, together, for the first time since the beginning of the year! Also, we had both just finished finals (me a week prior, and her that morning) so we were both SUPER sleep-deprived so that's fun too.
> 
> My comments are bolded, my beta's are italicized/underlined, and the fic is just normal text.
> 
> We hope you enjoy! :D

**“If I fall asleep, just pull my laptop from my hands and toss a blanket over me please.”**

_ “Don’t worry about it!” _

**“I was gonna say, Miss ‘came home drunk and fell asleep on her laptop and yelled at me when I tried to take it from you’”**

_ “That girl sounds rude” _

**“She was….”**

_ *continues talking* _

**“Slow down, I can’t change between underlined/italicized and bolded that fast.”**

_ “Just press control U and I and control B.” _

**“Wait what?!? That doesn’t work!” *tries it* “Oh snap, it does!”**

_ “Have you just been clicking back and forth this whole time?!?” _

**“Maybe….”**

_ “And that is the story of how RoyalScienceNerd enters the 21st century.” _

**“Yeah….”**

_ “Wait, so all through college… all those papers we wrote for school…. I can’t believe no one told you.” _

**“Well, whose fault is that, bestie?!?”**

_ “Well clearly I need to monitor someone’s technology habits to ensure they are living their best life.” _

Rapunzel sighs as she picks at her breakfast. Her parents have come a long way in remembering what all happened since their memories were erased, and it seems her dad finally remembered what happened with the black rocks, the Battle of Old Corona, and Varian. _“Why is she sighing?”_ **“Idk, I guess because they now know enough to face consequences or something…. I guess…. Shut up!”** _“I think she’s sighing because she’s sad that her parents are getting their memories back which means she can’t be in power anymore. Rapunzel has always been power-hungry – we knew that as a fandom. That’s why she inserts herself in everyone’s business.”_ **“I always thought that that was just because she’s nosy and has no sense of boundaries given her only friend for 18 years was a chameleon who could always disappear if he wanted to get away.”** _“I don’t think he could have. I think Pascal was held hostage for 18 years. It’s Stockholm syndrome… that’s why he’s still with her.”_ **“Agree to disagree. I mean he kind of owed her – it was a life debt.”** _“Such a strong way to start a friendship….”_

Frowning, she thinks back to their last visit to Old Corona. Quirin had been so upset **“That’s one way to put it – severely underestimate his rage”** about how her father treated Varian after she left. Unfortunately, her father still did not remember those events at the time, so it had been an awkward conversation - one in which there was a lot of one-sided yelling. _“I’m just imagining a confused Fred – ‘why is this strange man yelling at me? What did I do? It’s like that meme with the cat and the blonde lady.”_ **“He knows who Quirin is. It was probably more like ‘why is this man who is usually a simp for the royals screaming at me for once – when did he grow a backbone?’”** _“#Quirintheroyalsimp”_ **“Well, actually, he did yell at Fred when he took the flower, so he does have a backbone….”** But now, her father did remember what happened that night, and in the months following. And Quirin did have a point – her father never officially apologized to him for allowing Old Corona to be destroyed by the black rocks. **“He never apologized for anything.”** _“I don’t think Fred knows how to say sorry.”_ **“Like father like daughter.”** _“Everyone: ‘Fred just say sorry.’ Fred: ‘I’ll take that under advisement.’”_ Perhaps it was time they talked it out.

After finishing breakfast, Rapunzel wanders down to Varian’s lab. After Cassandra’s destruction of the Demanitus Chamber, she had given Varian a room in the castle in which he could continue his experiments. It was the least she could do after he got kidnapped after all. **_Together: “Mhhmmmmmm”_**

Opening the door to the lab, Rapunzel found Varian mid-experiment, adding some drop of reagent to a flask while Ruddiger watched from close by. “Hi Varian!” she greeted as she stepped into the lab. _“Zero social common sense.”_

Varian jumped, turning around in surprise, and almost dropping the flask. “Hi- hi. Rapunzel, we talked about this. A little warning would be nice – especially when I’m in the middle of an experiment.” _“Oh, she doesn’t listen.”_ **“She’ll take that under advisement….”** _“Just like her father….”_

“Oh, right…. Sorry,” Rapunzel apologized ** _Together: “WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHH”_** _“Someone is using the ‘s’ word”_. “So, what are you working on?”

“Oh, just a little something to help with the Rooster. Did you need something?” Varian asked as he capped the flask and placed it on his lab bench.

Rapunzel took a deep breath before beginning. “Do you remember the ‘incident’ in Old Corona?”

Varian frowned. “Which incident? The one in which my hot water system exploded? The one in which I encased my dad in unbreakable amber? The one in which I unleashed an army of automatons as you attacked my home after I kidnapped your mom? The one in which I personally tried to kill Cassandra and your mom after-” _”King of self-deprecation.”_

“No! None of those. Sorry, I forgot there’s been a lot of ‘incidents,’” Rapunzel interrupted. **“WHOOOOOAAAAHHHH, 2 apologies in 5 minutes.”** _“That’s growth…. She’s half her dad’s age and she has given twice as many apologies.”_

“No kidding,” Varian muttered as he turned back to his experiment. “So, if it’s none of those, then which one were _you_ talking about?”

Rapunzel sighed. “I’m talking about the fight between our dads.” _“’DUH! That’s the only thing that’s been running in my mind. What have you been thinking about?’”_

Varian whirled back around to face her. “What fight? Did my dad do something? Is he in trouble?”

“What?!? No, of course not. You were there,” Rapunzel replied.

Varian frowned, deep in thought for a second before facing the princess once again. “You mean when my dad yelled at your dad, but he didn’t remember, so then it just got super awkward?”

Rapunzel nodded. “Exactly.” _“’Yeah, it’s been sooooo traumatic for me…. I could not stop thinking about it. I just can’t handle when people are upset in my kingdom. Everyone has to be happy all the time.’ Wait, didn’t Cassandra literally say that to Rapunzel: that not everyone has to be happy all the time?”_ **“Yes, yes she did…. I think they might have sung about it too…. You remember: I’m ‘Crossing the line’ into depression..., or at least to being honest about my fee-fees. Random, but you remember the song, ‘With you by my side?’”** _“Yeah?”_ **“I can’t listen to it…. I always skip it when it comes on on my playlist because Cassandra sings the first line and starts the song, and I’m just like ‘shut up, you lying traitor’ even though I love Cass – it just makes me sad.”**

“I wouldn’t really call that a ‘fight,’ Rapunzel,” Varian snorted as he once again turned back to his experiment. “It was mostly just my dad blowing off some steam.”

Rapunzel frowned. “Maybe…, but now my dad remembers what happened and-”

Varian whirled back around, face frozen in terror. “Your dad remembers?!?”

Rapunzel nodded, confused as to why Varian’s expression changed so drastically. **“She really needs to learn to read the room….”** “Yes, of course. He’s remembering more every day. I know you were trying to help speed up the process with science, but love and nostalgia beat science in this case, _“Said every anti-vaxxer…”_ **“No politics in a director’s cut! I HATE it when people put real world politics in fanfiction. I’m trying to escape the real world, not be reminded of it!”** and-”

“So, he remembers me **“Starts singing ‘Remember me’ from Coco. Wait, do you spell it ‘Coco’ or ‘Cocoa?’ I’m an idiot who can’t spell….”** _“’Coco,’ ‘Cocoa’ would be if they did a holiday special.”_ **“We should think about marketing that. Who do we call at Disney?”** _“Walt himself.”_ **“Yeah, we’re gonna call the frozen head of a racist man about a holiday special celebrating Mexican culture… genius….”** _“Now who’s political?”_ **“We need sleep…. This is what 15 hours of sleep in 48 hours between 2 people looks like.”** _“We love this life for us…. And we’re still functional.”_ **“Idk how, especially you, considering 13 of those hours were mine….”** _“Medical school and adrenaline are a hell of a drug.”_ **“I’m still in the post-finals anxiety stage of life, where I wake up in cold sweat every 2 hours, panicking and spastically checking my email because I feel like I forgot an assignment…, so I get sleep but it’s interrupted and not restful…. And grades were posted 5 days ago. I have problems….”** ,” Varian whispered. _“When you read it back, it reads, ‘I have problems,’ Varian whispered and I’m just like ‘yeah, you do….”_ ***Laughs* “You know, Varian and I are two peas in a pod.”** _“A problem pod….”_

“Well of course! That was kind of the point. Anyways, I was thinking-,” Rapunzel paused as she noticed that Varian’s hands had begun to shake. “Are you alright, Varian?” **“Is he ever?”** _“No, he has problems… duh….”_ **“Starts singing ‘Problem’ by Ariana Grande: ‘I got 99 problems and you’re all of them- what!’”**

At the sound of her voice, Varian unfroze. “What?!? Oh! Yeah! I’m fine! Great! Super!” **“Super traumatized….”**

Rapunzel frowned as she watched him cross his arms, hiding his shaking hands under them. “Are you sure, because-”

“I’m fine- reall-ah!” Varian attempted to lean back casually against his work bench, only to miss and topple to the ground. **“This is something I would do, and definitely have done before, which is why I included it. A clumsy Varian is a relatable Varian. Apparently so is a traumatized Varian.”** _“Everyone has a little trauma. It’s just whump fuel. Wait, you spell ‘whump’ with an ‘h’? I thought it was like ‘bump’ but with a ‘w’.”_ **“Ma’am, who here reads all the fanfiction, 90% of which is whump because I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort but also pain?!?”** Picking himself up, he wipes the dust off of himself. “I’m fine,” he emphasizes, albeit sheepishly.

Frowning, Rapunzel tried to figure out why Varian was suddenly acting so weird when it finally hit her. **“She’s a little slow, but she gets there….”** “Varian, you know you’ve more than made up for any crimes you’ve committed against the kingdom, right? And that I’m not going to let my dad send you back to prison?” Rapunzel asked hopefully. _“She can’t speak for her dad. I don’t even think her dad knows what he wants since he’s just now getting his memories back. And her dad could be lying to her again.”_

Varian hesitated, but nodded. “It’s just – your dad hasn’t been the most honest with you in the past, now has he?” _“Your dad’s a snake – get used to it tutz.”_

Rapunzel sighed. “That’s fair, but he’s changed. _“Said every girl ever.”_ And even if he hasn’t, I’ll make sure he’d never hurt you.”

“You didn’t stop him then…,” Varian muttered _“BURN!!!! ROASTED!!! He really said, ‘You’re useless and your promises mean nothing to me.’_ , as Ruddiger nuzzled his leg in comfort. ***me reading the last line: ‘As Rapunzel nuzzled his leg in comfort. Wait… what? No!”** _“IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF FIC!!!!”_ **“Stupid sleep deprivation…. Isn’t it as bad as being drunk?”** _“Verified med school opinion: It’s basically the same.”_ **“Awesome….”** _“The cheapest way to get drunk – deprive yourself of all sleep- everything your body needs to function. Revert to your lizard brain.”_ **“I would like to take this moment to remind everyone that these comments are meant solely for humor purposes…. Please don’t actually do what she just said. I would feel horrible if someone took this advice and it ended badly.”** _“Tell them, but if they do, leave a note in their will requesting a fanfic from you.”_ **“Literally no, I’m not supporting your poor life choices. Everyone sleep! It’s good for you.”** _“Okay mom…. MotherScienceNerd. Oh my gosh, if you ever have kids, you can change your handle, like how muffinlance calls her baby mini muffin.”_

“What was that?” Rapunzel asked.

“Nothing,” Varian mumbled. “Now, why are you here again?” _“Yeah Rapunzel…. Stop bothering him – he’s busy.”_

“Oh-right!” Rapunzel exclaimed. “I was thinking that we should get our dads together. _“OHHHHH, get them together….”_ **“It’s not that kind of fic.”** You know – let them talk things out. Isn’t that a great idea?!? I could bake cookies and-” **“Why is cookies her solution to everything? Cookies and singing….”** _“I think that’s all she knows how to do…. It’s like how cats don’t know how to show affection except to hunt so they bring their owners dead birds. Cookies are Rapunzel’s dead birds.”_ **“That’s disgusting and I hate you for that comment.”**

“I don’t know, Rapunzel…,” Varian sighed. “My dad’s still pretty upset about everything that happened. **“WHO ISN’T?!? LITERALLY WHO IN THIS FANDOM IS NOT STILL UPSET?!?”** _“Literally….”_ Maybe it’d be best just to leave it alone. I don’t want to meddle, especially not when my dad and I still have some pretty raw emotions about the whole ordeal.”

“I know, I know…, but this is exactly why this needs to happen. Our dads will talk it out, and their relationship will be good as new.” Rapunzel smiled. This was definitely a good idea. _“Pats herself on the back…. Good job Rapunzel brain cell.”_

Varian frowned. This was a terrible idea. One of Rapunzel’s worst ones yet. **“And she’s had some pretty terrible ones….”** _“Facts.”_ There was no way this would end well. He might be willing to forgive Rapunzel, but he had different feelings about the king, and he knew his dad felt the same way. After all, the man’s negligence allowed their village to be destroyed by the black rocks, not to mention not helping his dad after he got encased, attacking his home, throwing him in prison with a terrorist for a cellmate, etc., etc. Having their dads try to “talk it out” would end well for no one.

“My dad’s not really much of a talker, Rapunzel,” Varian stated. “Just let it be….”

Rapunzel frowned, “Okay, if you think that’s best.”

Varian nodded. “I do.”

Rapunzel sighed, turning to leave the lab. “Okay, but let me know if you change your mind.”

Varian nodded. “I will.”

As the princess left, he shook his head. He won’t. That was a terrible idea. He was just glad Rapunzel decided not to go through with it. **“Tehehehehehehehehe….”** _“What a TERRIBLE plan…. It would be SUCH A SHAME if someone actually did that….”_ **“Tehehehehehehehehe….”** _“The dots…. Is that you laughing forever or nervously?”_ **“Both works…. I will always laugh forever at Rapunzel’s stupidity sometimes. Like I’ll be the first to admit I’m not always the smartest, but some of her plans are exceedingly dumb.”** _“What if Rapunzel became queen and they had a war? And she tried to solve it-”_ **“With cookies and singing?!?”** _“Sure…. Let it be known that Corona would no longer be a kingdom. It would be the new republic of Trevor.”_ **“Eugene would never let that happen…. They’d pull another ‘Project Obsidian’ and build a weapon behind her back and ask for permission after it’s complete.”** _“Lance would never shoot a seal. Not the navy seals.”_ **“I don’t Lance would have a say in the matter.”** _“Lance is the only one that activates the machines.”_ **“Especially if they’re Varian’s and he says not to touch them….”** _“Lance is a mood….”_

~~~~~~

Rapunzel huffed as she walked back to her room from Varian’s lab. How could Varian possibly not think that their dads talking out their feelings is a good idea?!? **“Yeah Varian – it’s a plan that involves cookies and fee-fees…. All that’s missing is some singing – it’s foolproof!”** _“Waaaaaiiiiiiittttt…. We should TOTALLY do that! Write an AU where they sing it out. We can write them a fighting song. It can be the opposite of the ‘Buddy Song.’ ‘*starts singing* ‘Enemy! You’re my worst enemy.’_ ***continues singing* ‘When I need a frenemy - you’re still around, I frown. OHHHH, enemy! Our relationship is estranged. You’re my worst enemy, so please go and change!” Side note: those ~3 lines look us 10 minutes, so don’t expect us to actually write that fic – we’d be here forever.** _“But also, if they want it – I’m down.”_ **“I guess…”** It’s a great idea! Maybe he just needs to see that. Smiling as inspiration struck, Rapunzel pulled out a quill and began to write. _“Dearest Quirin, I was a fool. I miss the way things were.”_ **“IT’S NOT THAT KIND OF FIC!!!! You know I don’t write romance!”** _“This is very ‘Dear Evan Hansen’ of us – ‘Who says that?!?’”_ **‘No one who hasn’t seen that musical is going to get that reference.”** _“Well, they can watch the crappy YouTube video like the rest of us.”_ **“Sincerely, me!”**

~~~~~~

When Quirin receives the letter from the king asking him to come to the castle to discuss how the repairs are coming along in Old Corona, he debates retiring on the spot. **“Quirin really said, ‘I’m done. Time to throw in the towel.”** _“Spend the days making ham sandwiches and doting on my almost adult son. A father’s dream come true.”_ **“He can also dote on his grandson – Ruddiger. Wait… is Ruddiger more like Varian’s son or his brother? Where does the raccoon fit in this family?”** _“Idk…. Definitely not his mother, though.”_ ***stares down beta* “I’m sorry, who took take of Varian while his dad was in the amber?!? Who was the only responsible adult who said, ‘Yes, I WILL care for this traumatized teen?!? Oh, that’s right – Ruddiger!”** _“@Quirin, how does it feel to be a co-parent with a raccoon?”_ Or sending someone else in his place. Either option sounds better than facing the king once again. The king who kept his son under house arrest using his guards, almost killed his son in the attack on Old Corona, and then threw him in a cell with a terrorist cellmate after agreeing to get him help. And to top it off, he doesn’t even remember doing ANY of that. Yeah, Quirin will pass on the whole “playing nice with an amnesiac jerk just because he’s royalty” opportunity. He’ll send Walter in his place. _“Random boy Walter.”_ **“You know I don’t know how to deal with OC’s.”** _“Sends Adira.”_ **“Noooooo…. If you thought Quirin kicked Fred’s ass….”**

Except the stupid letter requests his presence by name, and that’s not something he can just ignore. Stupid letter. Stupid king. Stupid feudal system. On the bright side, Varian was at the castle, so at least he would get to see his son. _“If he’s still there….”_ **“NO! It’s not that kind of fic! Our fandom son is safe and happy and mostly fine – only some minor trauma but he’s fine.”**

Quirin leaves early the next morning for the palace. When he arrives, he’s personally greeted by the princess, which he finds odd, but then again, Princess Rapunzel is known for tending to do things herself rather than delegating. _“Yeah, because she gets into everyone’s business. This is why Monty hates her.”_ **“Boundaries are not her strong suit….”**

She escorts him to some sort of sitting-room ***reads it back as ‘spitting room’*** _“Spit happens….”_ in the inner castle, which Quirin also finds odd – why wouldn’t the king want to meet in the throne room? But he doesn’t question it. He just wants to quickly discuss the repairs, get out before he says or does something stupid and/or treasonous, and go find his son to check on him. **“Too late…. He already showed up – mistake one.”**

As Rapunzel opens the door, he finds the king sitting at a table with a plate of cookies on it. _“He’s like Santa.”_ ***laughs*** The king looks up upon their arrival, and glances between Quirin and his daughter in confusion – yet another thing Quirin finds strange. **“Why is Frederic being confused strange? When is Frederic not confused?”** _“Next fic – Fred gets a therapist.”_ **“I don’t like Fred enough to give him one. If my son doesn’t get a therapist – no one gets a therapist. I could put Fred in a cell with Andrew so he can get some ‘help’!”** _“I thought Ruddiger was Varian’s therapist. Let’s Fred hang out with Ruddiger for a day – becomes enlightened. And he would only charge him 15 apples an hour.”_

As Quirin steps inside, the king shifts his gaze to him, still confused. “Quirin?” he asks.

Quirin resists the urge to scream. Stupid amnesia. Stupid Andrew. Stupid Saporians. Just as Quirin’s about to respond, he hears the doors slam shut behind him, and the sound of a key turning in a lock. Quirin turns to the doors, trying the handles. The doors don’t budge.

“Now you have to talk it out!” Rapunzel called from the other side of the locked doors. **“Bold of you to assume….”** _“Quirin’s like ‘this is the worst daughter I have not raised.’”_ **“Varian never locked me in a room. Explosion yes, imprisoned no.”** _“Explosions open doors, not close them…. Yeah, Rapunzel. Love is an open door. Keyword: ‘open.’”_ **“I hate you….”**

“Rapunzel!” Quirin called, pounding on the doors. The king got up from his seat at the table joining him.

“Rapunzel! Let us out!” the king demanded as he too, pounded on the doors.

“Not until you both talk about what happened. Now that you have your memory back, dad, that should be easy. Just talk it all out. Let your feelings flow.” **“says it how Iroh tells Zuko to ‘feel the flow’ and does the motion.”** _*starts singing ‘Let it flow’ to the tune of ‘let it go’”_ **“We went two totally different directions with song choices there…. I started thinking ‘Let it Grow’ from the Lorax.”** _“Quirin’s like, “Let it die, let it die, let our feelings go and die.”_ **“And we wonder where Varian gets it from….”**

Both men’s pounding became more frantic as they heard her retreating footsteps. “Rapunzel!” they both cried out.

Upon hearing footsteps returning they both relaxed. **“Like she would let them out that fast….”** _“PYSCH! *throws cookies at them* “why isn’t this healing them? Why aren’t the cookies working?’ *continues to pelt Quirin and Fred with cookies. ‘HEAL!!!’”_ ***bursts out laughing* *starts singing ‘the healing incantation’* “Cookies here you go, let your power shine, save this broken friendship, bring back what once was mine….”** _*Repeats last stanza of song: “My peace of mind….” “Also, it would have been easier to just wrap both of them in her hair.”_

“Oh! And I left cookies!” Rapunzel cheered from the other side of the doors, before once again leaving. **“Because you know, nothing solves a problem like a cookie.”** _“’C is for cookie – that’s good enough for me’ – that’s Rapunzel’s new theme song. *starts singing* ‘I’ve got the wind in my hair and the cookies in my hand, and the fun’s only started.”_

“Rapunzel!” Quirin tried one last time, pounding on the doors.

The king sighed. “It’s no use. She’s not going to come back and let us out. Not until we talk.”

Quirin frowned, continuing to pound on the doors. “Then I’ll keep pounding until someone else hears us.”

“Quirin,” the king began. “I-”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Quirin growled. “I have nothing to say to you, Frederic, so unless you have an idea of how to get these doors open, then there’s no need for us to talk at all.” **“How is no one concerned the king has gone missing?”** _“We all know Arianna is the only one with common sense in this family. And besides, if Fred just got his memory back, then Rapunzel is still acting regent. Everyone’s like ‘he’s a vegetable man – we don’t need him.’”_

Frederic sighed, but said nothing, joining him in once again pounding on the doors. After about an hour, he stopped, frowning. “It’s no use, Quirin. Rapunzel made sure to pick a room with thick doors and almost zero hallway traffic. No one will hear us in here.” With that, he turned and headed back to the table, taking a seat.

Quirin growled in frustration, pounding the doors one last time before following, taking the other seat. An awkward silence followed.

“Maybe we should try to discuss what happened,” Frederic suggested. **“Shut up, Fred’jerk’ric!”** _“Try… and fail….”_

“I already told you- there’s nothing to discuss,” Quirin stated sharply.

“I know, but-”

“Nothing!”

~~~~~~

Rapunzel smiled, humming as she walked down the hallway towards the kitchens for a snack. _“She’s like: ‘I did such a good job. I did such a good thing today! *explosion in background* ‘I’m the best at this. If I wasn’t a princess, I’d be a therapist.’ And the patients would have to start getting therapy for their therapist.”_ **“I don’t think someone with so much of her own unsolved emotional and mental trauma could ever be a therapist.”** _“Facts…. She keeps avoiding her own trauma and just goes on vacations.”_ **“More like: ‘I’ll avoid my own trauma by messing with everyone else’s….”** _“Side note: Has Rapunzel ever actually fixed anything?!? Like have any of her friends been like, ‘Thank you so much – life changed.’”_ ***Thinks long and hard (literally like 5 minutes) before answering* “She saved Atilla from being sent to prison in ‘One Angry Princess’ and saved Eugene and Pascal’s lives.”** _“Those last two were her hair, not her.”_ **“Fair…. If I had magical hair, people would like me too….”** She should have saved some of those cookies for herself, but she’d been so caught up in making sure her good idea was executed perfectly that she forgot. _“She keeps saying, ‘her good idea.’ I don’t think she knows what that means….”_ Oh well, maybe the extra cookies would be just what Quirin and her dad needed to mend their friendship. **“Comes back to a food fight…. ‘MY COOKIES!’”**

Upon entering the kitchen, she finds Eugene sneaking two cupcakes. Turning in surprise, he smiles once he sees it’s her.

“Hey, sunshine!” he greets. “I was just grabbing some cupcakes for me and Lance. _“Awwww, best friend goals! I’d bring you a cupcake.”_ **“You da best!** **😊”** You want one?”

“Of course!” Rapunzel smiled as Eugene handed her a cupcake.

“So, what’s got you in such a good mood, Blondie?” Eugene asked and he went to grab three glasses of milk.

“Oh, it’s nothing, Eugene,” Rapunzel smirked as she bit into her cupcake.

“Should I be concerned?” Eugene questioned as he returned with the glasses of milk.

“WHAT?!? No! Of course not! I just had a really good idea earlier, **“@Eugene, this is the cue to start getting concerned…”** and I was able to implement it perfectly.” **“Uh-huh….”** _“This is a perfect plan she said – nothing could go wrong, she said.”_

“Is that so? And pray tell, what was this spectacular idea of yours?” Eugene asked.

“Alright, but you can’t tell anyone…. Okay?”

Eugene nodded. “My lips are sealed, Sunshine.” _“Oh, yeah…. Tell Eugene the secret…. He’s sooooo good at keeping secrets. Even Rapunzel should know her boyfriend is a blabbermouth.”_ **“Oh crap, I totally forgot about that! Oh well… it’s irrelevant to this fic. Quirin and Fred don’t stay peaceful long enough for Eugene’s lack of secret-keeping skills to be a factor.”**

Rapunzel smiled. “I locked my dad and Quirin in a room together!” _“Like the psychopath she is….”_

Eugene stared at her in shock. “YOU DID WHAT?!?” _“EXACTLY! A reasonable adult with reasonable thoughts…. She can’t possibly not hear how that sounds….”_ **“I mean, she has zero social skills. She’s probably like ‘I was locked in a tower for 18 years and I’m fine…’ *fandom laughs nervously*”** _“Eugene: ‘Sure you are….’ *pats head* “There, there.”_

“Relax, Eugene. I’m just trying to help them mend their friendship now that my dad has his memory back.”

“Do you not remember what happened last time you tried to force people to be friends? You locked me and Cassandra in the dungeon, the Stabbingtons escaped, and we both almost died!” Eugene screeched. _“My point exactly…. When was the last time her hare-brained plans ever worked...”_ **“Hair-brained – tehehe….”**

Rapunzel frowned. _“She didn’t like our pun, huh?”_ “I know, but I’ve learned my lesson since then. No dungeons, and no elaborate scavenger hunts to build a mechanical device needed for escape. They’re just locked in one of the sitting-rooms so they can talk. I’ll let them out in a few hours. _“HOURS?!? It doesn’t take that long to reconcile!”_ **“Yes, it does – they have a lot of fee-fees regarding the situation.”** _“’I’m sorry I locked your son in jail.’ ‘I’m sorry I hate you for locking my son in jail.’ BOOM! Reconciled! I mean, that’s how men solve their problems….”_ **“Literally, how would you know?!?”** _“Facts…. But I thought the stereotype was that men are less dramatic.”_ **“Okay, so it’ll take them ten hours instead of ten years to resolve the problem like it would take us as females.”**

I told my dad we were going to have a father/daughter brunch and I sent a letter to Quirin as my dad asking him to come to the palace. Then I locked them both in. **“This is why people have trust issues. Rapunzel really catfished them both.”** They have cookies – they’re fine, Eugene. I’ve put a lot of thought into this plan. There’s no way it goes wrong.”

Eugene didn’t seem convinced, but he dropped it. “If you say so, sunshine.... I would check on them soon, though.”

Rapunzel sighed. “Okay, okay.... You have a point. I’ll go right now.”

~~~~~~

On her way back to the sitting room, Rapunzel runs into Varian.

“Hi Rapunzel, I was just about to update you on my latest invention! Where are you rushing off to?” he asks as he falls into step beside her.

“Oh, I’m just checking on our dads!” Rapunzel replied.

Varian freezes. “OUR WHAT?!?” **“Before you even comment: it’s not that kind of fic. Although, @Frederic, how does it feel to also co-parent with a raccoon? And a chameleon…?”** _“Oh true…. Honestly, Pascal is a great parent.”_ **“I mean, anyone is better than Frederic….”** _“Pascal’s so supportive.”_

Rapunzel flinches. “Well, I kind of invited your father to the castle to talk things out with my dad since they’ve been so distant.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!?” Varian shrieked. “I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO!” **“Insert gravity falls meme: Varian’s opinion: ‘This is worthless’”**

“I know, but I was just thinking, they used to be friends, and after seeing how not talking things out hurt me and Cass, **“Why is everything always about her and Cass?!?”** _It’s Rapunzel’s world and we’re all living in it.”_ **“Vote to change the name to ‘Varian’s Tangled Adventure.’”** _“I want a Varian series. Varian and the 7K.”_ **“Don’t we all…. If I ever somehow become rich magically, I’m buying the copyright to Varian’s character and funding the show. It’s what the world needs.”** I decided to let them talk things out one on one in one of the sitting-rooms. With cookies.” _“She keeps saying, ‘cookies,’ as if it makes it better…. Like ‘here’s my psychotic plan, but cookies!’ BOOM! Instantly less unhinged….”_ **“This is fine…. That’s how I write Rapunzel, though. ‘let’s talk about our fee-fees, sing a song, and eat cookies.’ And I write Fred by thinking of THE DUMBEST MOST INSENSISTIVE thing I could possibly say and add the words, ‘Frederic said’ in front of it. And I write Varian by tapping the innermost levels of my chronic anxiety.”** _“It’s not even that deep/inner.”_ **“My fanfic version of Varian is just a manifestation of my angsty anxiety with a touch of my depression…. And Quirin is a manifestation of my therapist.”**

Varian’s face pales. “You left them ALONE?!?”

Rapunzel winces. “Yes.... Are you mad?!?” **“’Everyone can’t be mad. I don’t have enough cookies.’”** _“’We’re gonna run out of flour.’ Rapunzel screams at chickens: ‘I need more eggs! Speed it up! But don’t be mad at me, because I don’t have any cookies to give you!”_ **“She needs more eggs – I know where she can find some….”** _*Beta stares at me for a second, uncomprehending… until it finally dawns on her* “OHHHHHH shit… Frederic would be crushed…. He would come out of that room a changed man.”_ **“I feel like everyone would feel better off if Fred lost his eggs.”** _“Arianna: ‘I finally have shelf space!!!! You know how many years I’ve waited for Corona to have an earthquake?!?’”_

She receives no verbal response. Instead, Varian just grabs her hand and takes off running.

“WHERE… ARE… THEY?!?” Varian shouts as they run.

Rapunzel directs them towards the room. Upon arrival they hear a scuffle coming from inside.

“HURRY!” Varian screams, as Rapunzel goes to unlock the door.

Upon opening the door, the two rush inside. Both freeze at the sight in front of them. Quirin sits atop Frederic, pinning him down, and making to punch him in the face. At the last second, Frederic dodges, and Quirin’s fist hit the floor next to his head. _“OW!”_ As he winds up for another punch, both children finally unfreeze. _“Do you think Rapunzel’s on her dad’s side?”_ **“I think she’s more on the side of the cookies. Like ‘how dare you beat each other up when there’s perfectly good cookies here.’”** _“Both men: ‘You’re right!’ *starts throwing cookies at each other.*”_

“DAD!!!!” they both cry as they run over to the fight, attempting to break it up. They each grab one of Quirin’s arms and try to pull him off of Frederic, but he won’t budge.

“Dad, stop!” Varian cries. “DAD!”

Just then, Lance and Eugene appear out of nowhere and help them forcefully drag Quirin off of Frederic, breaking up the fight. Rapunzel rushes to her dad, asking him if he’s okay, while Varian just stands there in shock. After confirming her dad is okay, Rapunzel turns to thank Eugene and Lance.

“No problem, Rapunzel. We thought we’d come by to check how the talking was going…. _“He totaaaaaaalllllllyyy told Lance. ‘yeah, my unhinged gf locked her father and Quirin in a closet today… Wanna watch?’”_ **“It was not a closet – it was a sitting-room.”** _“What a bestie move!”_ **“Honestly, probably saved Fred’s life, or at least his face….”** _“Facts. It’s a good thing too, or else Arianna would have nothing.”_ **“He’s not even that attractive.”** _“Well, it has to be something, and we all know it’s not his personality.”_ Apparently not very well,” Eugene commented.

“Yeah, what happened here anyways?” Lance asked.

~~~ Earlier that day ~~~

After pounding on the door one last time, Quirin took a seat at the table with Frederic. How could he have been so stupid? He should have realized this was a trap! And now he’s stuck here with the last person in the world he’d currently want to be stuck with. After an awkward silence, Frederic spoke.

“Maybe we should try to discuss what happened,” Frederic suggested. **“Shut up, Frederic!”**

“I already told you- there’s nothing to discuss,” Quirin stated sharply. Not unless Frederic planned on apologizing for what he did to his son.

“I know, but-”

“Nothing!” Quirin growled.

After a few more moments of silence, Frederic began again. “Quirin, I know you must be mad at me-”

Quirin snorted. “You think?” he asked, voice dripping with sarcasm. **“That’s Quirin’s polite way of saying, ‘no shit…’.”**

Frederic flinched, but continued, “I know I made a mistake in attempting to ignore the black rocks and hoping that they would go away. But you have to understand – my daughter means the world to me. I would do anything to protect her. And surely you of all people can understand why I tried to hide the secret of the black rocks. You, yourself tried to hide them too after all, and-”

“You think I’m mad about the rocks?!?” Quirin interrupted, incredulously.

Frederic nodded. “But of course…. I mean, I did allow them to destroy Old Corona, not that your son helped the situation, _“OOOOOO… he did NOT just say that. Passive aggressive Fred has returned.”_ **“Nice to see he’s back to normal.”** but I reassure you, now that I have my memory back, I will do everything in my power to help you rebuild.”

Quirin clenched his fists under the table. He needed to remain calm. Varian was finally beginning to develop a new sense of normal. It would crush him if his father went to prison for assaulting the king. Breathe, Quirin. Breathe. You have to remain calm. For Varian. _“Don’t go to jail, Quirin. Don’t go to jail, Quirin. Every morning he wakes up : first on the to-do list – ‘Don’t go to jail.’”_

Quirin took a deep breath and nodded. “Thank you, your majesty.” **“Fun fact: The R &D team really worked hard this time – so I learned that ‘majesty’ is for king/queen while ‘highness’ is for princess/prince.”**

Frederic smiled. “Quirin, please. You know ‘Frederic’ is fine when we’re not in court. We’ve been friends for a long time now, after all.” **“Were they ever really friends? Someone show me one example of Frederic being a good friend to Quirin.”**

Quirin nodded again but said nothing. **“As my momma taught me: ‘If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’”** _“Or say it and make it extremely funny.”_ **“Quirin’s not much of a comedian….”**

Frederic gave a sigh of relief. “Well, now that we’ve talked, hopefully Rapunzel will come release us soon. I’m glad we were able to settle our differences and work everything out.” _“Quirin, sarcastically: ‘So relieved. We are soooooo good. So settled. I am not angry at all….’”_

Quirin grimaced. Stay calm, Quirin. Remain calm. For Varian’s sake. Speaking of which, “What about Varian?” Quirin asked.

Frederic nodded solemnly. “Of course, I can see why you would be concerned about your son given his… troubled history. _“OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYY GOOOOOOSSSSSHHHHH…. Seriously, he needs to stop belittling this man’s son.”_ However, I can reassure you that I have no intentions of punishing him further for his past misdeeds. According to Rapunzel, he has saved the kingdom many times since the Battle of Old Corona, and has been a great help to her.

And with you back to keep an eye on him in order to make sure he stays out of trouble; I have no doubts that he will continue on his path to redemption. Therefore, I see no need to punish him further, so long as he continues to be a model citizen, and refrains from threatening my daughter. I’m sure that will not be a problem though,” Frederic stated pointedly.

Quirin resisted the urge to scream. “Of course,” he stated.

“I’m glad we agree. I must say, though, it seems your son’s time in prison has done wonders for improving his attitude as well as his propensity for getting into trouble. He really has become quite the brilliant and respectable young man. Wouldn’t you agree?”

At this point Quirin was clenching his fists so hard he could feel them shake under the table. **“Literally Quirin has soooooo much more self-control than I do. I would have already flipped the table and be jumping Frederic right about now….”** How could the king be so blind? Varian’s time in prison had done nothing but hurt his son. It didn’t mold him into a model citizen, but rather scraped out everything that made Varian - Varian, leaving behind an empty hollow shell of the son he once knew.

The change in attitude was because Varian lived in constant fear of the townspeople, the monarchy, and their disapproval. And now, with the king’s memory restored, Quirin was sure it would only get worse. The lack of trouble, especially explosions, was due to Varian’s fear of hurting anyone, or appearing as a threat and the consequences associated with that. No, prison had only hurt his son. It hadn’t helped him. He never got the help he deserved, and the fact that Frederic thinks this is the kind of help his son needed makes Quirin feel sick.

Quirin’s broken from his thoughts as the king repeats his question. “Quirin? Wouldn’t you agree?”

Quirin abruptly stands, knocking his chair over. “No, I don’t,” he states darkly.

“I’m sorry?” Frederic asks in confusion. “I only meant to compliment what a great young man your boy has become. He has really turned his life around since his imprisonment.”

“Varian has always been brilliant,” Quirin states, staring down the king. “The rest of you were just too blind to see it.”

“I suppose…,” Frederic murmured. “I’m glad he is now putting his brilliance to good use though, instead of causing explosions or building automatons. I’m sure you feel the same way.”

Quirin sucked in a breath. “No, Frederic I don’t feel the same way….” At Frederic’s confused glance, Quirin continues on, “My son has always been intelligent beyond belief, understanding things and inventing things I never thought possible. And sure, there was the occasional explosion, and sure I’ve dealt with my fair share of injuries and property damage because of him, but I’ve also gotten to experience the amazing marvels his alchemy can achieve, because my son always has been, and always will be an amazing, compassionate person who tries to do what’s right and help others.

He continues to amaze me each and every day. Sure, he’s made mistakes. He never should have messed with the black rocks after I told him to leave them alone, and he never should have kidnapped the queen, or put Rapunzel’s life at risk in trying to free me, or attacked her when his drill failed. But we made mistakes too, and that cost my son EVERYTHING!!!!

I never should have lied to my son, but you never should have hurt him in all the ways that you did. Not only did your daughter abandon him and throw him out into a blizzard where he could have frozen to death, but she never checked on him afterwards. You may ask what sort of friend Varian is to Rapunzel, but what sort of friend is Rapunzel to Varian?!?!?!? _“OOOOOOO…. Yeah! True! She’s just so selfish – she only thinks about herself. She got that from Frederic.”_ **“Facts.”**

Then you – you lied to the people of Corona. You let villages be destroyed, and lives uprooted. I might have tried to run from the rocks, but you just sat by, ignoring them as they destroyed your kingdom! And then you kept my son, the one person who knew just how bad things were and yet was still trying to fix the problem, under house arrest to the point where he had to send Rapunzel a secret letter asking for help. You knew what was going on Frederic! You knew what was happening! And you chose to do nothing!

Especially when this is all your fault to begin with. I told you NOT to take the sundrop! I told you that by taking the light, you would awaken the dark. This wasn’t just you ignoring the needs of your people, ignoring a disaster causing kingdom-wide mayhem. This was you ignoring the dire consequences of your own actions!!!! To the point where my son, in his desperation, felt the need to commit treason and kidnap the queen, to force you to come, to force you to listen.

And then after all of that, after all of Varian’s hope had been placed in your daughter’s ability to free me, after Varian risked everything, sacrificed everything, to get her to come, she couldn’t even help him. No wonder my son lost it and attacked your family! I’m not saying his actions are justified, but can you even begin to imagine how hurt he must have felt watching your reunited family embrace in a warm hug while all he had was the cold surface of the amber?!?

All Varian wanted was me back. All he needed was just a little help – for someone to keep their promise to help him. And yet no one did. You said you were going to help him Frederic. You told your daughter you would. Is throwing my son in the deepest darkest corner of the dungeons with a Saporian terrorist for a cellmate helping him?!? Because if that’s your definition of ‘help’ then Old Corona will pass on receiving any ‘help’ from the king anytime soon.

And now you have the nerve to say that my son’s time in prison was good for him?!? Varian isn’t Varian anymore, Frederic! You’ve destroyed him! I’ve spent the last few months trying to scavenge what remains of my son I can find, and trying to piece him back together, and yet he’ll never be the same.

I’m slowly accepting that. Varian is too. He’s getting better. He’s slowly and methodically picking up the pieces of himself he can still find, and putting himself back together the best he can, and I’m doing all I can to help him. He’s finding new interests and new meaning in life, and that’s helping to seal the gaps from where he was fractured. But know this, Frederic – you, your daughter, this kingdom – you were the ones who broke him! So no, I don’t agree. Nothing that happened was good for Varian. None of that was good for my son.” **“Fun fact about this part: this was literally me ranting non-stop and I actually had to go back and edit it into paragraphs later because it was just a solid page of vented frustration. Also, I had to take a walk to breathe because I got too involved emotionally.”** _“The angst really flowed.”_

After his outburst, Quirin gasped for breath. So much for trying to remain calm and respectful in order to avoid treason. **“Literally me. I’m such a short-tempered person.”** _“Yeah….”_ Quirin shook his head. No! Frederic needed to hear this. He needed to know the full extent of the damage he’d caused to his son – to their family. If it was treason to want justice for Varian, then so be it. He just hoped Varian would understand and forgive him when he’s forced to leave him again. He hopes that this time, maybe his son will be okay. **“That was implying he thinks he’s going to jail…. Was that clear?”** _“Yeah….”_

Frederic stares at Quirin in shock, mouth agape. Closing his mouth, he reopens it to speak, but quickly shuts it again. After a long silence, Frederic sighs, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry you feel that way, old friend. _“’I’m sorry YOU feel that way – but I don’t!’”_ But I assure you, I did what was necessary to protect my daughter. Whatever your son has told you, his perspective – it’s skewed by his own emotional turmoil. I’m just sorry I couldn’t help him more.” **“Quirin’s so calm. I would have thrown hands.”** _“Frederic needs to receive some hands.”_ **“Express delivery! Amazon Prime these hands!”**

Quirin lets out a shout of frustration, abruptly turning towards the doors. He’ll kick them down if he has to, but he can’t spend one more second in this room listening to the king condemn his son. Reaching the doors, he begins pounding on them once again, looking for any sign of weakness he can target.

He stops when he feels a hand on his shoulder. Whirling around, he grabs Frederic’s hand and shoves it off of him. _“Flips him over. K/O! He had the advantage of leverage.”_ “DON’T TOUCH ME!” **“Where’s his whistle?”** _“Quirin’s no-no zone is his entire body. Rapunzel really should have left a whistle, though.”_ **“For real…. OMG what if there was fire?!?” _“_** _Well, that solves that problem…. Can’t be in conflict if you’re not alive…. Rapunzel has an Azula level breakdown – ‘YOU ALL HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS!!!!’”_ **“’THESE COOKIES AREN’T WORKING!!!!”** _“Rapunzel banishes everyone – there is no conflict in Ba Sing Se – I mean, Corona….”_ Quirin shouts, turning back to pound on the doors.

When Frederic’s hand once again appears on his shoulder, Quirin turns, and shoves Frederic, screaming, “I said, ‘GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!’” _“No means no.”_ **“Varian needs to make his dad some pepper spray.”** _“It’s always, ‘Brotherhood protect me,’ but who’s protecting the Brotherhood?!?”_

Frederic holds up his hands in a placating gesture. “Quirin, it’s no use. You need to calm down.”

Quirin clenched and unclenched his fists. “NO!” Meeting the king’s eyes, he begins to shout, “You know what your problem is, Frederic?!? **“OOOOOHHHHH do I have a list….”** Nothing is ever your fault! You take no responsibility for anything! You expect everyone to either fix the problem for you, or ignore it with you. **“Preach Quirin. Preach!”** Well, I’m not just anyone, Frederic….”

Bringing his pointer finger up, Quirin points in Frederic’s face, gesticulating as he speaks. “ ** _YOU_** are the one who brought the destruction of the black rocks to this kingdom! **_YOU_** are the one who attacked Old Corona and almost killed my son in the process! And **_YOU_** are the one who doesn’t care about anyone except his precious daughter. It makes you a decent father, but a shitty king, and I’m sick of having to help clean up your messes. I’m done! No one hurts my son!” **“This is us as a fandom @Frederic! Literally sometimes I wonder who’s more dangerous for Frederic – Quirin or Varian’s fangirls (and everyone in general who loves this child).”**

At this, Frederic becomes enraged. **“I’m honestly surprised it took this long….”** _“He has amnesia. He has to remember how to be angry.”_ **“He always was a slow learner….”** Grabbing Quirin’s hand in his face, **“Frederic really pulled a Kuzco and said, ‘No touchy!’”** he shoves it away and for good measure, shoves Quirin back a step.

Growling in rage, Quirin shoves him back. Next thing either of them know, they’re both on the floor wrestling. It’s only a matter of minutes before Quirin gains the upper hand, and pins Frederic down. Rearing back, he goes in to punch Frederic’s face, but Frederic dodges. In his periphery, Quirin can tell someone’s finally opened the doors, but he doesn’t care. **“’Come back later, I’m busy kicking ass….”** _“And he was….”_

As he winds up for another punch, he feels four arms grab him, two on each side. They aren’t enough to pull Quirin off of Frederic, but then there’s four more arms _“An octopus has entered the fight. It’s over for them all…. This is my conflict octopus. My emotional support chameleon and my conflict resolution octopus.”_ , and next thing he knows, he’s being held back by Eugene and Lance while a panicked Rapunzel is checking on her dad.

Glancing around to see who else decided to help break up the fight, Quirin freezes as he sees his son. Varian is standing in-between the two groups, glancing back and forth between them, as if in shock. As if he couldn’t process what just happened.

Quirin focuses back on the other members of the group as Rapunzel finishes checking on her dad, and turns to thank Lance and Eugene for their help stopping the fight.

“No problem, Rapunzel. We thought we’d come by to check how the talking was going…. Apparently not very well,” Eugene commented. _“Surprise, surprise.”_

“Yeah, what happened here anyways?” Lance asked.

Quirin glares at Frederic, who simply states, “Quirin and I had a minor disagreement.”

Rapunzel frowned. “But dad, you were supposed to be talking, working things out.” **“’I LEFT COOKIES!!!!’”**

“I’m not much of a talker,” Quirin growled. Quirin watched as his son finally unfroze, turning to smirk at Rapunzel, who just grimaced. **“He told you so, Rapunzel….”**

“Well, there has to be a better way to solve this,” Rapunzel sighed. **“Let’s sing!”** “You can’t just beat each other up. Maybe I could mediate or something?” _“With a song….”_

“Or they could just spar in the courtyard like real men, rather than wrestle in a sitting-room like children,” Eugene commented. **“Rapunzel: ‘Rap battle?’”** _“OMG when Rapunzel enters battle, it’s a Raps battle.”_ **“That was bad….”**

Quirin nodded, shrugging off Lance and Eugene’s hold on him. “Fine…. Courtyard. 10 minutes. Bring two swords.” With that, he turned and left, not being able to stand being around the king and his daughter for one more second.

Varian glanced at Rapunzel for a moment before shrugging and following after his dad. After they left, Rapunzel turned to Eugene, glaring. “What was that?!? You couldn’t even try to support my mediation idea?!?”

Eugene frowned. “Sunshine, I know you mean well, but some problems just can’t be solved by talking them out. This seems like one of those.”

“But what if someone gets hurt?!?” Rapunzel asked, turning to glance at her father. _“People are already hurt.”_ **“Facts.”**

“Relax, Blondie. I’ll grab two wooden training swords. Worst case scenario they both get a few bruises. It’ll be fine.” **“I mean worst worst case scenario, Quirin beats Frederic to death, but it’s not that kind of fic.”** _“Let’s play piñata!”_

Rapunzel nodded, turning to glance back at the door Quirin had stormed out of. “I sure hope so. For all our sakes.”

~~~~~~

Unforeseen perk of his recent growth spurt, Varian no longer had to run to catch up with his dad after he stormed off. Instead, he could just lightly jog. After catching up with his father, Varian fell into step beside him. After a few moments, Varian finally broke the silence.

“You know you don’t have to do this. Whatever you and the king disagreed on; you don’t have to fight him.”

Quirin grunted in response and kept walking.

Varian sighed. “If it’s about the repairs in Old Corona, you don’t have to worry. I just came up with an invention to help speed up the process. It’s a-”

“This isn’t about the repairs, Varian,” Quirin stated continuing to stare straight forward as they walked.

Varian frowned. “Can I ask what it’s about then?”

Quirin sighed, stopping and turning to face his son. Placing a hand on his son’s shoulder, Quirin looked his son in the eyes. “It’s about you, Varian.”

Varian stared at his dad in surprise, glancing down to his hand on his shoulder and then back to his face. “ME?!?” he asked incredulously.

Quirin nodded before releasing his son’s shoulder, patting it as he turned and began to walk forward again.

Varian stared at where his dad had been in shock for a few seconds, before finally turning, and jogging to catch up. “Dad, if this is about the king getting his memory back, Rapunzel already promised me I’m in the clear. Or at least I should be….” At this Varian paused, eyes widening. “WAIT! Did he say something?!? Am I not in the clear? I can’t go back to prison, dad, I just figured out how to revamp the hot water system, and Ruddiger hated it there, and I just got you back, and-” **“Yeah, dad I have plans….”** _“Yeah, dad… I’m too busy for prison.”_

Quirin stopped again, placing both hands on Varian’s shoulders. “Varian, stop!”

At this Varian froze.

“No one’s going back to prison.” At least not you, son, Quirin thought. **“’Maybe me…. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes….’”**

“Oh,” Varian whispered. “Good. That’s good….”

Quirin nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“Then the fight is about?”

Quirin sighed. “Frederic thinks he helped you by sending you to prison. I strongly disagree. We exchanged words on the subject.” **“That’s one way to put it….”** _“We love the swapping of parenting tips. They should form a club. The fight club….”_ **“First rule of fight club: no one tells Rapunzel. Or Eugene – he can’t keep secrets.”** _“’Yeah, Blondie they’re just – oh, ummmm… shopping… in the… the market….’”_ **“’For cookies….’”** _“’For you!’ Are we writing Eugene dialogue or Stan and Pete dialogue?”_

“Oh,” Varian stated.

“Yeah… oh,” Quirin replied.

“You still don’t have to do this, dad. I’m-I’m fine,” Varian stated, refusing to meet his dad’s gaze. **“Nice to know we keep our lies consistent.”** _“Varian woke up this morning and chose to lie.”_ **“He always chooses to lie about the state of his mental health. Everyone in this kingdom does. Have you seen s1 and 2 Cassandra?”** _“Oh yeah, she’s like ‘this is fine. I love waiting. Waiting is soooooo much fun!’”_

“I know, son. But this is a matter of accountability. Frederic believes he helped you, and we both know that that’s the furthest thing from the truth. You didn’t deserve any of what you went through.”

Varian frowned. “And fighting him is going to solve anything?”

Quirin smirked. “I might just have to ‘help’ Frederic realize how wrong he is by putting him in his place.”

Varian grinned. “Be careful, dad.”

Quirin nodded. “I will, son.”

~~~~~~

“I still don’t think this is a good idea. My mediation plan would have totally worked,” Rapunzel muttered as she took a seat between Eugene and Varian in the courtyard.

“I already told you, Rapunzel, my dad’s not a talker,” Varian replied. “Besides, your first plan seems to have worked soooooo well,” he stated sarcastically. **“Part of the reason why I love Varian as a character – he says the stuff I think.”**

Rapunzel sighed, turning back to watch Quirin and her father face off. Eugene had brought two wooden swords from the guards’ training supplies, and now the two men were preparing to spar.

“Relax, Blondie,” Eugene sighed. “It’s just some friendly sparring. They’ll take a few whacks at each other and we’ll have this resolved within the hour. Worst case scenario, Lance and I will step in and break up the fight.”

“We will?!?” Lance asked, surprised. _“That’s my fav character!”_ **“What about Ruddiger?!?”** _“Favorite human character…. Ruddiger is a raccoon.”_

“Yes, Lance,” Eugene muttered, “we will.”

“But they have swords. I told you, you should have let me take a sword from the supply cabinet. But you said, ‘No Lance, you don’t need a sword.’”

“Because you don’t need a sword!” Eugene shouted, turning to face his best friend.

“I do if things go south and we have to break up this fight,” Lance whined.

“Things are NOT going to go south. Everyone is going to be fine,” Eugene stated pointedly, glaring at Lance. Turning to face Rapunzel, he put on his most reassuring face. “It’s just a friendly sparring match.”

With that, the new captain of the guard stood from his seat and walked until he stood at the center of the courtyard. “Alright, your majesty, Quirin. I want a clean match. No head-shots. The first person to pin their opponent or force them to surrender wins. Are we clear on the rules?”

Both Quirin and Frederic nodded.

“Excellent! Then you can begin.” With that, Eugene returned to his seat next to Rapunzel.

Varian held his breath as he watched his dad prepare to spar with the king. He knew his dad had told him about his time in the Brotherhood, but that had been a long time ago. Beating the king in a wrestling match was one thing, but a formal sword fight – Varian can’t believe his dad agreed to this. At least the swords were wooden, so his dad wouldn’t get hurt.

All doubts fled Varian’s mind as he watched his dad charge the king with a never-before-seen ferocity. The king side-stepped as his father brought down a crushing blow that left an imprint in the dirt where it landed. _“That could have been someone’s body….”_ **“I wish, but then Quirin would be in jail for assault.’** When the king moved to strike, his dad blocked easily, locking swords and forcing the king to disengage.

As the king stepped back, Quirin took advantage and brought his sword in from the right, side-swiping the king. Varian watched in shock as the king grunted in pain and twisted out of the way of his dad’s next attack. His dad was amazing! He can’t believe he never knew his father was such a capable swordfighter. He’d have to convince him to teach him – at least a few moves. Maybe he could even get his own sword (a real one, he’d already invented his own after all)!

Varian stared in awe as his dad continued to force the king to retreat, raining down blow after blow, forcing the king to remain on the defensive. The king made to swing at his dad’s feet in an attempt to knock him off balance, but his father simply jumped over the sword. His dad used the king’s misplaced swing to get in a blow of his own, hitting the king’s shoulder. The king hissed in pain and retreated a step further back. _*hisses*_ **“Will you stop? Fred’s not a cat!”** _*hisses while making clawing motion*_ Varian noticed he was running out of courtyard.

Just when Varian thought this might be the end, that his dad had won, the king disengaged from a block, twisting around, and using his elbow to hit his dad in the jaw. **“Fun fact: I simply did this to prolong the fight. Otherwise Quirin would have kicked Fred’s ass in 5 seconds and while that would have been satisfying – I wanted some more depth.”** Varian stood up abruptly, shouting, “Hey! No head-shots!” _“Like the true sports fan he was.”_ **“He could be a sports fan.”** _He’s a nerd.”_ **“That’s a stereotype. Don’t put us nerds in boxes.”**

Eugene sighed, pulling him back down so he was sitting once more. “Technically speaking, no head-shots means no sword head-shots.”

Varian rolled his eyes. Figures…. Count on the king to find a loophole. **“Rapunzel never defined the word ‘help.’ ‘Help’ can mean whatever I want it to mean.’ It’s like that Thanos meme but instead of reality it’s ‘help can be whatever I want it to be.’”** Varian watched as his dad shook his head, taking a step back. The king used his gained momentum to take the offensive, swiping at his father’s chest as he was forced to retreat. Varian held his breath as his dad continually gave up ground, slowly backing further and further away. **“But you’ll notice, Fred never lands a single hit besides the one elbow because Quirin’s a badass.”**

Eventually, the king brought down a blow from above, forcing his dad to engage in order to prevent being hit. His father locked his blade with the king’s, pressing back as they battled for control of the blade lock. _*consistently laughs every time I say, ‘blade lock’*_ **“Why is that so funny?”** _“Because it sounds fake but it’s not.”_ After a minute with no ground gained on either side, the king spoke.

“You know, old friend, you really are quite good,” Frederic stated. “Your skills are impressive. And I see you have no problem attacking royalty. I suppose it’s a family trait. Like father like son,” he taunted. _“OH NO HE DID NOT!!!!!!”_

With a shout of rage, Quirin disengaged, and twisted, avoiding the king’s blow, and landing one of his own on the king’s side. “Only when the situation necessitates. Like when people don’t keep their promises. But it’s like you said, like father like daughter.” _“BURN!!!! CLAPBACK!!!! CLAPBACK!!!!”_

Varian quit watching the fight to shoot a quick glance at Rapunzel, only to awkwardly make eye contact and both quickly look away. **“Because, it’s one of my fics, so we add a touch of angst and social awkwardness.”**

Frederic took a step forward, swinging his sword in attempt to hit Quirin’s arm and force him to drop his sword. “I did what I had to do to protect my daughter, Quirin.”

Quirin dodged and swung his sword down, forcing the king to block. As their blades engaged yet again, Quirin looked Frederic in the eye. “And I will do whatever it takes to protect my son.”

Disengaging, Quirin swung yet again, forcing Frederic to retreat. Using his forward momentum, he swung again and again, forcing the king to continuously retreat in order to avoid being hit. “You took everything from us! You were supposed to protect us. You were supposed to help my son!” Quirin shouted as he continued to rain down blow after blow.

Frederic held up his sword to block, but Quirin used his own sword to shove it to the ground, forcing the king to retreat once again. “I had to protect my daughter. I had to protect Rapunzel.”

Quirin growled in frustration, continuing his attack. “And what about my son?!? What about your kingdom?!? Your subjects?!? You abandoned all of us!!!!”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Frederic yelled as he twisted out of the way of one of Quirin’s blows.

“Yes! You did!” Quirin screamed back, managing to land a hit on Frederic’s hip. The king grunted in pain and continued to back away. “You could have let your daughter help. You could have let her try. She’s the sundrop, Frederic! You knew she was connected to the black rocks. She could have saved us! All of this could have been avoided if you had just let her go!”

Frederic ducked as one of Quirin’s blows came dangerously close to his face. “I can’t lose my daughter, Quirin. I already lost her once. I can’t lose her. Not again…,” he whispered.

“Well, your fear of losing her cost me my son,” Quirin growled as he once again swiped at Frederic’s chest. _“Varian’s right there.”_ **“Lost Varian mentally and emotionally – he has trauma now.”** _“Yeah….”_

Fredric stepped back, bringing up his sword in an attempt to land a hit of his own. “I know prison wasn’t necessarily the best choice, but what other options did I have, Quirin?!? Your son single-handedly took out most of the guards with a monster, almost took out half the town with his automatons, and almost killed my wife and daughter!!!! I couldn’t just let him walk free. Especially not since no one understands the magic with which he creates all these devices and traps.”

“It’s ALCHEMY!!!!” Quirin shouted as he swung low, hitting the king’s knees and causing him to lose his footing. **“This is BY FAR my fav quote from this fic. Like it’s one thing for Quirin to defend his son, but to stand up for his son’s passions just warms my heart.”**

Frederic struggled to regain his footing as Quirin continued to rain down blow after blow, forcing him to block as best he could. **“It’s piñata time!”** “I had to make a choice. I chose the option I thought best for my daughter, for the safety of my family.” **“You chose wrong!”** _“Wrong choice! Wrong lever!!!!”_ **“I worry that non-Americans won’t get all of these meme references and quotes.”** _“Do they not have ‘The emperor’s new groove’ in other countries?”_ **“I just feel like they’re not as crazy as us Americans and don’t use pop culture references every 2 seconds, but maybe that’s me being stupid.”**

Quirin hit the king’s wrist, knocking the sword from his hand. With another quick swing to his knees, he forced the king off balance. Frederic fell on his back. Placing his foot on Frederic’s chest, Quirin pointed the sword at his neck. “What about my son?” he whispered lowly.

Frederic sighed, staring up at Quirin from where he lay on the ground. “I’m sorry. I thought I was making the right decision, but no one knows your son better than you. If you say I hurt him, then I’m sorry. I was just trying to keep Rapunzel safe, Quirin. Everything I did was to protect her. Surely, you can understand that?”

Quirin stared down at the king for a second while everyone held their breath. **“Eugene realizes in this exact moment, if Quirin decides to off the king, I am halfway across the courtyard. Rapunzel will off me.”** Sighing, he released Frederic, pulling back his sword and holding out a hand to help him up. “I do, Frederic. Everything I did was to protect my son.”

Frederic nodded and sighed. “I wish we both could have been more successful.” **“Doesn’t everyone?”**

Quirin nodded in agreement. “Me too.”

~~~~~~

As the fight ended, Eugene went to collect the swords, and Lance went to go claim the untouched cookies, leaving Rapunzel and Varian alone sitting together.

“We’re not going to have to do that, are we?” Rapunzel asked, turning to face Varian.

Varian shook his head. “Nah, we kind of already did, and I’m not eager to relive the Battle of Old Corona.”

Rapunzel shuddered, nodding in agreement. “Me neither.”

After few more moments of silence, Rapunzel turned to her friend, smiling. “So, did you still want to show me your latest invention?” _“Rapunzel: ‘So that happened…. Anyways, inventions?”_

Varian smiled back, nodding. “Of course, but I think I should talk with my dad first.” _“See Varian cares? Rapunzel couldn’t care less about her own father.”_ **“Because he’s a loser…. Varian: ‘My father is an awesome warrior who can kick ass!’, Rapunzel: ‘My father… collects eggs.’”**

Rapunzel nodded. “Yeah, me too. Meet you in your lab in an hour?”

“Sure!” Varian agreed. “I’ll see you there!”

~~~~~~

Rapunzel finds her dad in the medical wing, being looked over by the castle physician. “Is he alright?” she asks as she approaches. _“Emotionally or physically? He just got his ass handed to him in front of his subjects.”_ **“To be fair, it was just Varian, Eugene, Rapunzel, and Lance.”** _“Quirin pulls an Azula: ‘I have defeated you for all time. You will never rise from the ashes of your shame and humiliation…. Well, that was fun!”_

“Yes, your highness,” the physician replied. “This exam is just out of precaution. Your father is fine, though. Just some minor scrapes and bruises.” _“Looks at her father, covered in purple bruises – ‘I didn’t realize my dad was a Smurf!’”_

“Thank you,” Rapunzel replies, to which the physician nods and leaves to check on another patient.

She sits next to her father in silence for a moment before asking the question that’s been on her mind since she found both dads wrestling in the sitting-room. “You’re not going to punish Quirin for attacking you, are you?” Rapunzel asks looking at her dad in concern. That would absolutely crush Varian.

“For what?!? Being a better swordfighter?!?” Frederic asked, amused. **“Plus, if he did and Quirin ever got free, he’d just kick his ass all over again.”**

“I meant for attacking you in the sitting-room,” Rapunzel replied hesitantly.

Frederic sighed. “No, I won’t. I think I might have instigated that little squabble. **“YA THINK!?!?!?!”** _“At least he’s becoming self-aware that he’s annoying.”_ Besides, I believe we’ve caused that family enough pain already. I think it’s time we let them heal.”

Rapunzel nodded. “I’m glad you feel that way, dad.” After a few moments, Rapunzel made to leave. Pausing at the door, she turned to face her father once more. “Oh, and dad. You’re not going to lose me.” With that, she turned and left.

~~~~~~

Varian finds his dad in his lab of all places. His father is examining his notes and blueprints pinned to the walls, and the vials of chemicals laid out on his desk.

“Dad!” Varian calls as he enters the lab, his father looking up at him and smiling. Running forward, Varian embraces his dad in a hug, which his father returns.

Pulling back, Varian smiled. “That was, by far, the most badass thing I’ve ever seen you do!”

Quirin laughed. “Well, your old man has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.” Turning to gesture at Varian’s lab bench, Quirin smiles. “I see your experiments are going well.”

Varian nodded. “Yup! No explosions in over a month!” **“I imagine Varian’s lab having one of those signs that they have at like warehouses but instead of days without a safety incident, it’s just ‘days without explosion.’”** _“Varian explodes something and goes to sadly erase the board.”_ **“Imagine Lance causes it: ‘LANCE I TOLD YOU ‘NO!’ NOW I HAVE TO ERASE THE BOARD! I WAS AT 34 DAYS LANCE!!!! 34!!!! YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO MAKE IT THAT FAR?!?’”** _“Lance: ’34 days?’”_ **“OMG” *laughs***

Quirin shook his head, but chuckled. “I’m glad to hear you’re doing well, son.”

Varian nodded again, before giving his dad a once over. “And how are **_you_** doing?”

“I’m fine,” Quirin answered.

Varian frowned. “Are you sure? Because you did just attack the king, and while it was **_AWESOME_** , I know from experience that doesn’t always end well.”

Quirin sighed. “I know. But it needed to be done. The king hurt you, Varian. No one hurts my son and gets away with it.” _“So @Quirin, when are you killing Andrew?”_ **“Andrew’s lucky he’s in prison where Quirin can’t get to him. OMG, imagine if Quirin did go to prison and was cellmates with Andrew. ‘Oh so you’re the one who gaslit my son. Nice to meet you.’ *cracks knuckles*”** _“Quirin: ‘What they don’t know is that I purposefully committed this crime just so I could meet you.’”_

Varian smiled, embracing his dad once again. “I love you, dad.”

Quirin returned the hug, ruffling his son’s hair. “I love you too, son.” _“This is not well-placed after our comments on Quirin’s violent parenting strategies. ‘I will kill Andrew, but I love you, son.’”_

Eventually both father and son pulled back from the embrace. Turning to leave, (he did need to get back to Old Corona after all), Quirin paused in his son’s doorway. “Oh, and son?”

“Yeah, dad?” Varian asks, turning from his experiments.

“Tell the princess, the next time she locks me in a room, expect there to be some property damage in the form of some broken doors.” Quirin smirked as he left his son’s lab.

Varian stared at his dad’s retreating figure in shock, before laughing. “Awesome!”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to let us know what you thought! :)


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